Priorities and promises

from Laura

At the very beginning of this school year, as Seth and I were filling out applications for Faith Academy and starting up conversations with mission agencies, I made a commitment. My commitment was to my students this year, that I would not cheat them of my best work, even though I knew then that this would be my last year at Holmes. At the beginning, keeping that commitment had mostly to do with my perspective. I had to make sure that I didn't get so caught up in the excitement of teaching at Faith that I began to look negatively or grudgingly on the challenges of teaching at Holmes.

Once we were accepted by TEAM and began to have training and support-raising responsibilities, I had to start considering my time. For the most part, I have solved this part of the problem by splitting my life into two quite distinct halves-- Holmes life and Philippines life. I've generally separated these two lives by location. For the most part, school is school. If I have schoolwork to do, I stay late and do it there. At home, almost everything is focused on the Philippines. My commute takes me from one world to the other. It's a little surreal, but it has worked out all right.

This past week those convenient lines have begun to blur, and I'm realizing that keeping my commitment to this year's students is going to take renewed solutions over the next two months.

The first blurring factor arrived in the Teacher's Lounge on Tuesday when my Drama job at Holmes Middle School appeared on the job postings bulletin board there. A number of my colleagues already knew about our plans-- I told the administration at the beginning of the school year and started telling others in January, after we were officially accepted as TEAM missionaries. But with my job officially and on-paper vacant, anyone who doesn't know yet is finding out. I really enjoy the conversations that come up. They mean, though, that my "school is school" focus doesn't work so well anymore. I'm just waiting for the day when my students figure out that I'm leaving...

I noticed another change on Wednesday of this week. At our staff meeting that morning, virtually none of the topics applied to me because almost the whole meeting was about next year. Suddenly, I am an observer in those discussions, not a stakeholder. I truly do care about my school, but some of the planning and paperwork is just not important to me at this point, and I will need to watch out for how that may affect my attitude.

Looking ahead, I know that the balance between my lives will shift even further in just a few weeks. When the musical is over, I intend to use that regained time to brush up on my French and begin learning Tagalog. Also, Seth and I are just starting to set up meetings with groups or individuals who are potential supporters, and that will demand my evenings more and more often. As the school year wraps up, even some of my Holmes life will become future-focused as I figure out what to take away with me, and how best to organize the things I will leave behind for someone else to use. Keeping my priorities straight will get complicated, especially as my students will be increasingly summer-focused themselves.

So, today, I am renewing my commitment to my current students. I see the pressures and responsibilities that might draw me away from them, but I will fight back. I'm not sure what it will take or how it will look over the next two months, but these students are still my job and my calling from now until June 8. My promise remains that I will not give them less than my best.